My writing goal is ten years

On being a slow writer

I was eight years old the first time I knew I wanted to be a writer. The memory will never leave me because it was a revelation. It was something I’d known without fully understanding how or why I knew it. And maybe other kids get revelations all the time, but at eight years old, I was a Disney kid with my head in the clouds and whose only concern was getting through math problems so I could watch cartoons.

This idea of wanting to be a writer, of wanting to finish a book and publish it has never left me since. There hasn’t been a single moment since that day way back in second grade when this dream has fleeted away or changed. The one constant in my life has always been writing.

So it’s hard a lot of the time for me to look at where I am, almost forty, and still unpublished. Still no finished manuscript. And while, yes, I know that there’s no time limit on our dreams and that Vera Wang designed her first wedding dress at forty, that Alan Rickman didn’t get his big break until he was forty-two, and while I know that forty isn’t old, I still can’t help but sometimes feel like thirty-two years is still a long time to be waiting to realize a dream.

Ultimately, I know that if I haven’t finished a manuscript or published a book, the fault is all mine. But I have to admit that I wonder more and more each day how true that is.

Bertan Özer via Pexels

“Trust the timing of your life.” This is a sentiment that I’ve held on to for a very long time. I had to—I was a late bloomer in everything. There are days even now in my thirties when I’ve berated myself for not thinking and acting more adult-like. Granted that I’ve realized how much my neurodivergence has affected the “normality” of my life, but I really am slow when it comes to almost everything.

I only really learned to cook in the last three years. I hated, and still partly do, having to figure out how much heat to apply, what seasonings clash, or why the aromatics have to be cooked first. I got my driver’s license when I was twenty-three, and though I can drive, I still very much hate it. I was never able to socialize with people until the last three years. So yeah, a late bloomer for sure.

But one thing I never intended to be was a late-blooming writer. Or rather a late-blooming published writer. I am a writer and I’ve been a writer since the moment that I decided that I was and I began to write stories and poetry.

I’ve had essays published online, and that was exciting at the time and something I’m still quite proud of.

But the voice in my head persists that I’m not getting any younger. And that time is passing. And it is passing quickly.

But what I’ve also realized is that the pressure I put on myself doesn’t help. When I get stuck on a certain part of my novel, when I need to take a couple of month’s break to figure it out, it feels like a loss. It feels like I’m wasting time. Even though I know perfectly well if it were happening to anyone else, I’d repeat my mantra to them: Trust the timing of your life. I’d say, “You can’t rush creativity. You have to let it flow.”

Sure there are things you can do to spark creativity, egg it along. But force it? Rush it? Never.

So if I say that to other people, it must mean it applies to me too, right? I must also have a timing that is uniquely mine. One that says, you didn’t know how to cook in your twenties, but you know in your thirties. You didn’t drive around in your teens, but you gained the skill in your twenties, and it’s in your reserve for when you need it. And you didn’t socialize in your early life, but now you’re making meaningful friendships.

I wanted these things, but I didn’t need them. And when I needed them, I finally achieved them.

There are writers out there who are putting out books year after year. There are even writers who are putting out more than one book a year. There are writers who’ve been published since they hit their twenties.

Then there’s Donna Tartt, who has taken ten years between each book to publish.

I came across this particular bit of information completely at random. I was watching R.F. Kuang give a speech when YouTube suggested an interview with Donna Tartt. I didn’t know who she was except in passing. I own The Goldfinch, a copy I once found for $2 at the Goodwill store, but I’d never read it. But here was this video where the interviewer mentions Donna having taken ten years with each of her three novels.

Was it serendipity that this video was placed in my path to see? I mean, it was probably just the way the algorithm works, but as I trudge on with my novel, it’s a piece of trivia that I keep falling back on, almost like a new mantra, “Donna Tartt takes ten years between each book.”

And slow to adhere to anything, as usual, it’s only after months of having seen that video that I finally feel it in my bones—that video was suggested to me for a reason. I was meant to see it. Because I’m not a fast writer. And yet I keep trying to be.

I don’t think I’ve ever executed or produced anything in my life quickly and ended up pleased with it. Chances are, if I rushed it, I probably didn’t care much about it. And that’s just it, I care about my writing. I care about my novels. I want to care. I want to nurture them and give them everything they need until I know that they’re ready to go off into the world on their own.

So I’m pledging right now, in this moment, to stop trying to rush. To stop trying to meet some insane deadline. I’m going to follow my gut. I’m not a fast-working person. I’m not a quick creator. My creations aren’t fried eggs; they’re slow-roasting briskets, slow-cooking stew, buttery croissants.

I’m actively working on two novels. I write a little every day. I think about my novels nonstop: while I do dishes, while I shop, before I go to sleep. It’s not like I’m sitting back, twiddling my thumbs hoping that a novel will appear out of nowhere.

So my current writing goal is to finish anytime within the next ten years, and I think that’s a fair deadline. If it’s good enough for Donna, then it’s good enough for me. Ten years seems doable, and if I finish before that, even better!

Obviously, I don’t want to finish in ten years. But giving myself a deadline such as “two years” (which I’d been doing) when I don’t even have a complete first draft, is not helping. What I mean is that I’m going to keep that deadline wide open until I have a manuscript that looks, well, like a manuscript. For now, I’m just going to focus on enjoying the process of writing, the meticulosity of it, the same way a woodworker enjoys whittling away at a piece of wood, carefully and patiently carving out their envisioned shapes into 3D.

I intend to finish. But I’ll finish when I’m meant to finish and not a moment sooner.

Writing my affirmations on Post-its and sticking them where I can see them is a habit I like to keep.

Blog posts

The blog over on my site is alive and kicking again. It’s going to be filled with writing tips and advice, so be sure to subscribe to this newsletter to get every post sent right to your inbox.

This month on the blog:

White Room Syndrome: Building Setting and Description in Your Story

Read this to learn about one of the most common pitfalls that writers meet while working on their stories, but which has an easy solution that an editor can help scope out.

Also on the blog this month:

What’s the Difference Between a Beta Read and a Manuscript Critique

Lately, there’s been a lot of conversation on social media about what it means to be a trained editor and whether or not writers who are not trained in editing should be offering editing services. One of the biggest misunderstandings is the difference between what a beta reader can do for you versus an editor. In this post, I go into detail on the differences and on why beta reading cannot substitute the advice and work that a trained editor provides.

Be sure to follow me on Instagram and/or Pinterest, and sign up for my newsletter to receive blog updates, writing and editing tips, and more!

Editing sale

There’s still a week left to book your editing service to qualify for 10% off a developmental edit, a manuscript critique, or a line edit! There’s also a 25% off sale if you’d like to book a proofreading!

Remember: You can book further out into the calendar, but you need to book in June to be able to qualify.

*This offer is only valid until June 30th, 2024, 11:59 PM EST.

*There is limited availability for this offer.

What I’ve been into this month

Bridgerton, Bridgerton, Bridgerton!

If you’re sick of all the Bridgerton talk, well, I’m sorry, there’s just going to be more of it here. The second half of the series has been released as we speak, and I’ve also just finished reading the third book in the series by Julia Quinn called An Offer from A Gentleman.

Did I mention I might be fully ready to enter my romance era? I never thought that I was going to enjoy reading the Bridgerton series as much as I’ve enjoyed watching them on TV. The book has turned out to be quite unserious. I love that Quinn is able to make fun of her own writing and the context of her own stories. When I was young, I remember these paperback, smutty romances being quite stuck up, which was the main reason I couldn’t get into them. There’s a lightness in Quinn’s style that’s hard to find in romance—so many books do try to take themselves so seriously. And this translates effortlessly into the screen. I’m looking forward to getting into more of Quinn’s books!

And on the topic of late bloomers and trusting the timing of our lives, did you know that Nicola Coughlan’s big break didn’t come until she was thirty-one as she took on the role of Claire on the show Derry Girls (awesome show, by the way!). Wikipedia tells me she knew she wanted to act at the age of five after watching her sister in a school play. This sings to me as it sounds so familiar to the moment when I was eight and knew I wanted to write.

I’ve also started writing poetry again. It’s a hobby I regularly pick up and drop over the years, but I feel more confident in my ability to just write poetry for myself this time around, without the need to make something out of it, or the guilt that it’s a waste of time if I’m not getting something out of it. I’m testing out sharing shome of these as a way of allowing myself to be seen more. My poetry tends to be personal, and it feels like a small way in which to share some of what tinkers around in my head and my personality. Once in a while when I come up with something that feels complete I might share it. Or not. Either way, here’s one I shared on Instagram this month.

“Figs” by Maria Chance

Finally, this is slightly off-topic and slightly on-topic, but I like to watch calming YouTube videos when I’m chilling or before bed, and some of the videos I love to watch are of baking. This month I came across this video of this woman making a five-tier wedding cake, and I was just amazed the entire time.

The level of detail, intricacy, passion, dedication, and focus that went into assembling that cake from every first grain of flour to the placement of the last sugar flower was just inspiring, to say the least. This cake would never, could never have been the same without the enduring patience of the baker which must’ve come from a deeply embedded passion for her craft.

Here’s the video if you ever want to check it out. It’s such a vision to take in every step of the way, and such a wonderful reminder that beautiful things take time.

Until next time,

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Hi there, I’m Maria! I’m a freelance fiction editor assisting women writers in amplifying their voices through their writing. You can find me on Instagram @theintuitivedesk and on Pinterest. Or visit my site www. theintuitivedesk.com to find out more about editing services.