Practicing self-care as a creative
Advice for when you're going through it
To start this newsletter on a completely honest note, the lows I spoke of in my newsletter a few weeks ago are persisting. And while I’ve wanted to write something deep and meaningful, and worthy of landing in your inboxes, I decided that maybe this is a good time to talk about self-care as a creative.
In line with what I talked about last week, about expansion and contraction being part of the natural cycle of life, we’re bound to have moments of highs and moments of lows. For some of us, those moments of lows can get pretty low. But it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. It doesn’t mean that we give up. It just means that we go inward and check with ourselves to see what it is we need.
Here are some ways that I’ve been doing that:
Connecting with nature: I’ve been going outside a lot more. Sometimes sitting in the sun is all the cure I need. Thankfully, the weather here in Virginia has been compliant and it’s made it easy for me to be outside for long periods of time. This would’ve been a lot harder in winter. But now that it’s spring and the weather is warming up, I can sit in the sun, watch the dogs run, listen to the trees rustling, and I’ve even discovered a new bird song I’ve never heard before in my neighborhood. Also, is anyone else seeing an insane abundance of lilacs (or is it wisterias?) flowering everywhere? I’ve been noticing it this year far more than in past years. It’s gorgeous, and talking about it even now is helping to lift my spirits. I’ve also planted some irises and propagated my daisy bushes (they are growing out of control!). Ultimately, being outside brings quiet to my mind. I saw a reel a while back that basically said that lying on my couch or bed watching TV or reading is how I rest my body; being active in nature is how I rest my mind. I agree with that sentiment 100%. When burned out from overwork and from a brain that doesn’t let you live down not succeeding and everything you attempt, quieting it, especially through being in nature, can be a true antidote.
Practicing mindfulness: I’ve been journaling a lot more this month and it has definitely helped. I’ve also restarted my gratitude practice. I’ve set two reminders on my phone: one for the morning and one for the afternoon to help me break away from whatever I’m doing and take a moment to really look at what I feel is precious in my life and give it the attention and acknowledgment it deserves. One other thing I’m doing to stay more present is cutting down on my social media time. Yes, my reach is dropping, but I keep trusting that in time the right people will find me. But as for cutting down on social media and general phone time: I’m less badgered by the constant comparison game—everyone seems to always be doing the most on social media and “winning,” while I constantly feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water—or by being told by marketing accounts that I need to do this thing or that thing to get it “right,” to do life “right,” to live longer, to be richer. Or by the constant bickering of people who refuse to find common ground. That noise has subsided and my mind is more at peace. I’ve also had a lot more time to read which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’ve enjoyed so many wonderful books in the last few weeks, and I’m slowly making a dent in my TBR. All excellent small wins!
Engaging in playful creativity: Since I’m currently stuck with my story, and every time I want to revisit the scene of the “jam” my brain goes “ehhhhh,” I’ve decided to revisit my old romcom WIP. I’m tinkering around with it for funsies, definitely not taking it on as work. I’m approaching it more like the kid who’s been working on a Lego piece but takes plenty of breaks away from it to go do life. Nothing serious, just playing around. Of course, this can look different for different people. Some might paint, or doodle, or have a mini dance party/karaoke session. Whatever gets your inner colors flowing, try that. It’ll give you a nice break from the stark black and whiteness that life sometimes brings to us.
Reaching out for support: This one’s important but not always easy. Especially when you’re like me and you’re terrified of burdening others with your problems. But I’m in constant communication with my dear friends and family. I talk to my husband a lot about the nonsense in my brain. It helps to know that there are people out there who support you and have your back even if they’re not there to solve your problems. Sometimes you just need someone to vent to. To be seen. The thing of it is, if you know you’d be there for them in a time of need, why would they not be there for you? So don’t be afraid to reach out. Share your struggles openly and allow yourself to receive the kindness and understanding of others. You’ll be surprised to find how many people out there can relate and are ready to lend a supportive and validating ear.
Nourishing your body and soul: This one’s a bit tricky for me because I’m not a bath or spa person or anything like that. But I do try to stay on top of eating healthy while also allowing myself some treats here and there. I try to work out with intention. Feeling in my body as I move helps remind me of how solid and real I am, and it grounds me. I remind myself in those moments to take up space, which in turn reminds me of how powerful I am, how powerful I can be if I only trust myself. I’m gentle with myself, and I practice self-compassion, though this isn’t always easy, but practicing it helps, and keeping at it even when it doesn’t feel effective is important. It’ll start to feel real someday, this worth I tell myself I ahve. I listen to a lot of my favorite music, I go to the bookstore, I cozy up with a mug of tea and a warm blanket. But this can look any amount of different ways for you. It’s all about reminding your mind, body, and soul that you matter even when everything else seems to say otherwise. You are part of this beautiful world, even when things are gray and lifeless. The sunshine will return.
I’ve been down this road before, and I also, thankfully, have many years of therapy in my pocket now to know this cycle will pass. I just need to be patient with myself. I hope that you, too, are reaching for all the tools that are at your reach to remind yourself that feelings and thoughts are all as momentary as the weather. No season lasts forever. When your body and mind need to retreat into a bit of hibernation, honor it. It’ll only help you replenish your energy faster and your creativity will follow right behind it.
Newsletter news
Moving forward, this newsletter will reach you biweekly rather than every week as I’ve attempted to do until now. Thinking up content that I find worthy of putting out in the world is a constant worry of mine, and I think giving myself a bit more space and time to work on my newsletters will help me to stay intentional with them. Pushing myself to write something that I consider useful every single week, while I juggle all my other responsibilities, can put a lot of pressure on me, which in turn leads me only to become more blocked and drained. I hope that you will continue to follow every week, and also, please, know how much I appreciate your understanding!
Book reviews!
More book reviews are up over at
’s website, Untitled Thoughts! If you’ve ever been curious about any of these titles, check out the book reviews to maybe help you make up your mind!My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell — A woman tells her account of sexual abuse and gives us insight as to why some victims hesitate to come forward.
Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore — A young woman suddenly starts hopping into her body at random points of her life’s timeline and begins to understand the meaning of letting life unfold.
Me by Elton John — A completely candid and unapologetic autobiography by the legend himself.
Normal People by Sally Rooney — Marianne and Connell are friends but also more than friends, and they have a bond that is as unexplainable as it is unbreakable.
Hi there, I’m Maria! I’m a freelance fiction editor assisting women writers in amplifying their voices through their writing. You can find me on Instagram @theintuitivedesk. Or visit my site
www. theintuitivedesk.com to find out more.